Preggo'd Your Eggo
by Hyper Kid
Summary: Gabriel accidentally gets Loki pregnant. Thor is not impressed. Shenanigans ensue. Hints of Wincestiel, Gabriel/Loki, possible later Thor/Steve and Gabriel/Loki/Tony. Rated for language and crack.


HK: Might be because it's 3 in the morning here, but I was killing myself laughing the entire time I wrote this. Just some crack that popped into my head when I was introduced to the concept of SPN/Avengers crossovers by my beloved friend Sanity's-Overrated. This one's for you too babe! X) It also goes along with a long time ship of mine, Gabriel/Loki.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any derivatives thereof! Except my cracky little alternate universes. :P But I make no money from them. I also don't own Avengers… although I'd love to get my slashy little hands on Tony, Loki and Clint. :3

WARNINGS! Crack, Gabriel (he always needs his own), some really freaking weird stuff that came out of my brain. Hints of Wincestiel.

XXXX

Sam and Dean looked up abruptly when Castiel poofed into the motel room, eyes wide and panicked.

"You must come at once." Despite his dishevelled appearance, the angel's voice was as calm and steady as ever. The Winchesters exchanged glances. Sam slowly got to his feet, approaching the angel cautiously.

"Where, Castiel? What happened?" It had been a long time since Cas had looked so upset.

Since before they joined up with the Avengers to stop the Leviathans and saved the world again. Since before Castiel had his brain reprogrammed by Lucifer and started seeing the sunshine in everything. Since before the three of them became official.

Castiel grabbed Sam's arms, his eyes wide.

"Thor is attempting to kill Gabriel!" For the first time he let his voice rise above the usual gravelly tones. Dean rocked onto his feet as well, knocking over his chair as he hurried over to the angel.

"Why, what happened?" Dean may not be Gabriel's biggest fan, but since his return from death the angel had been helpful enough to merit a little concern. Enough not to let a bulky Norwegian god smite him at least.

Castiel turned wide, panicked eyes on Dean, gripping his shoulder tightly in the same place he had used to drag Dean from Hell.

"He has impregnated Loki!"

XX

Sam, Dean and Castiel landed in the Avengers mansion just in time to see Gabriel tear down the hall and dive into a room at random. Thor charged past a moment later, hammer in hand and thunder in his eyes. Another door opened and Clint leaned out, grinning all over his face.

"Hey guys, here for the massacre?" he asked, a gleam in his eyes. Dean wandered over with a smile. He got along pretty well with the archer, and seeing that Gabriel was in no immediate danger of being caught he figured they had time to get the full story.

"Cas said something about Loki being pregnant. Isn't that impossible if Loki's a dude?" It only took a moment for Sam and Castiel a moment to follow his lead. Clint lead them back into the room where the rest of the Avengers were assembled.

"That whole relationship is fucked up, it's practically masturbation since they're a pair of shape shifting trickster gods with the same damn name." Clint sounded a little less freaked out about that than he probably should, but everyone had pretty much gotten used to Gabriel and Loki being together.

Loki was still no fan of the Avengers, but at Gabe's request he was at least civil when they were forced together. It seemed they were being forced together now, as Loki stood, in his female form although without a noticeable baby bump in the middle of the room.

He was wearing a simple green silk dress with a low neckline and a slit up the side to expose his current assets. He was also being watched nervously by Pepper and Natasha. No one else was even close to the Trickster, which seemed to amuse him if nothing else. He/she raised a hand in a sarcastic wave as Dean and the others entered.

"Ah, Gabe's side of the family. I trust dear Castiel has filled you in on the situation?" He sounded sardonically pleased. Dean, who feared neither man, god, demon or angel, marched over and poked the trickster in the stomach.

"How the Hell are you pregnant?" Perhaps it was tactless and blunt, but it was the simple fact that Loki enjoyed his bluntness that let him survive the encounter. The trickster god smirked at him.

"It's happened before. Admittedly with a horse." There was a hint of teasing in Loki's voice, but Dean took him seriously anyway. He took a step back, staring at the god with mild disgust.

"Seriously? Why?" His lips was curling and he knew he was treading on thin eyes by the flash in Loki's eyes. Lucky for him, pregnancy apparently kept Loki from slinging magic unless he wanted to hurt the baby. The god shrugged, eyes roving over Sam now.

"Well, Thor sleeps with humans. If he's going to sleep with lesser creatures, why shouldn't I?" Loki snarked, his eyes cold. Castiel's eyes narrowed, and he swept past Sam to glare at the god.

"Were you not carrying my brother's child I would make you pay for that statement."

"No need for that, kids!" Even Loki jumped a little as Gabriel appeared, wrapping his arms around the trickster. Gabe looked lovingly up into his eyes, resting his chin on Loki's shoulder. "Besides, that's not the story you told me sweetheart."

Loki rolled his eyes, doing his utmost to resist the sappy smile that threatened to cross his face.

"Alright, there was also a matter of the public lynching that would have been arranged if I didn't. It's a long story," he snapped at the watching crowd. Sam's eyes had softened, and he looked like he wanted to hug the god if he wouldn't have been smitten for it. Suddenly Thor's dulcet tones filled the room.

"TAKE YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY BROTHER, TRICKSTER!" The roar actually shook the furniture, and Gabriel flinched, shaking his head to clear it.

"Well back to running from your brother babe. Play nice." He leaned in to give Loki a swift kiss before fleeing the room, Thor hot on his heels. Loki rolled his eyes, resting his weight on his hip in an obscenely gay manner.

"Oh the irony." He didn't seem particularly upset by Thor attempting to kill his boyfriend, but then again Gabriel was ridiculously good at escaping.

Over at the bar Tony glanced over from where he had been attempting to force the world to make sense with a combination of vodka, Schnapps and some mint liquor. He didn't seem to be succeeding, but Captain America was already snoring against the bar.

"So Loki… shouldn't you be more worried about Gabe? Would kinda suck to raise that kid on your own." So far, only Tony actually sounded concerned for the arch angel's wellbeing. He and Gabriel got along like a house on fire, with even more casualties than usual.

Loki shrugged, striding over and taking a seat on a bar stool. Tony shuffled uncomfortably away as though Loki was an unexploded grenade. To be fair, this was a pretty reasonable definition of Loki's psyche.

"If he wanted to Gabriel could crush Thor from existence, or drop him in a black hole. He's just running to give Thor something to do," the god of mischief explained casually, as though he wasn't talking about his boyfriend destroying his brother utterly.

Clint snickered, glancing out of the door as Gabriel ran past again, this time on the ceiling.

"Not bad for a short guy." Thor barrelled past although he was following the usual rules of gravity and was stuck on the ground. Loki shrugged again, stealing Tony's drink and chugging it.

"He'll get bored of it soon and send Thor to the Labyrinth, I'm sure." Almost on cue, a sudden burst of music blared from the hall.

"Dance, magic, dance, bitch!" Gabriel cackled, sounding utterly deranged. Most of the room were reduced to staring wide eyed at the door, but Castiel had had centuries to get used to Gabriel and his silly bullshit.

Instead he focused his attention on Loki, crossing the room in a flutter of wings to fix the trickster with a determined blue gaze.

"You should not imbibe alcohol. It could damage the child." He almost sounded like his old dick-in-the-butt Apocalypse self. Loki wasn't having any of it. He rolled his eyes, grabbing Steve's abandoned glass and shoving it at Castiel.

"You finish this one for me then doll." He dropped it into Castiel's hands just as Gabriel snapped himself into existence in the middle of the room. His hair was a little dishevelled, but other than that the arch angel didn't seem to have been at all bothered by his dance with Thor. He waggled his eyebrows at the room.

"So, who's throwing us a party?"

XXXX

HK: Drop me a line if you liked it darlings! As has been pretty well established, I'll write anything cracky. X) It just might take a while because my muses are so fickle…


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